These are the words that couples often use when they first find themselves in my therapy office. Couples report feeling a distance from their partner—loneliness and a longing for intimacy and closeness.
Do you find yourselves having the same argument again and again? The topic might be different—but the result is the same.
One or both of you blows up or you may find yourself or your partner withdrawing and stonewalling, leaving you both feeling separate and alone—sometimes for days on end. You want to stop fighting. You want to live in harmony. You want to trust that your partner will be there for you, but nothing you try seems to work or last for more than a short time. You feel discouraged and disheartened.
You may find yourself avoiding certain topics for fear it will start another cycle of arguments and disconnection.
You are caught in a negative cycle with your partner. The cycle goes round and round and nothing ever gets truly resolved. Each time you go through this cycle, you get a little more discouraged and a little less connected to your partner.
You are not alone!
Many (in fact most) couples find themselves stuck in a negative pattern at some point in their relationship. Do not despair! Help is available. We have worked with many couples over the years, helping them get out of this negative cycle, repair injuries in the relationship and develop an intimacy and a trust that is better than it has ever been in their relationship.
You have built a life together.
Perhaps you have children, a business, a home. You share friends and family. A divorce would devastate not just you and your partner, but your family and community. You might be lonely and out of hope or you may be confused about why your partner is so unhappy.
Therapy can help.
Emotionally Focused Therapy is specifically designed to help partners reconnect and establish intimacy, trust and friendship in a way that will last a lifetime.
EFT research has shown that this method of couples counseling is effective in 70-80% of couples! (You may have tried other couples counseling that was ineffective or only lasted for a short while.) RCCC therapists are trained in EFT (and continue to train on an ongoing-basis.)
At your first appointment you and your therapist will get to know one another and learn about your particular negative cycle that is keeping you stuck in a place you don’t want to be with your partner. At the end of the session you can determine if the therapist and the EFT method is a good fit for you and your partner.